Monday, July 23, 2012

The Five Loaves and Two Fishes

I have been feeling some regret about my role in my lost loved one’s life, mourning that I had not done enough to make sure their foundation was sure in the Lord; feeling guilty for not living on purpose enough, for ignoring those gut feelings that I should be bolder, for not making fervent prayer my first option always, for not praying and fasting until I saw results, for letting satan have a stronghold in my life that caused me to want acceptance more than godly results.  See?  I have been really beating myself up, even though I have confessed all these sins to my heavenly Father and received forgiveness.  In other words, I am remembering them in detail, but He has chosen to remember them no more!!  I am trying to walk in that scripture that says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”  (Romans 8:1)

I was mulling over some of this mess when it felt like God spoke into my spirit and said, “I placed that person in your life for a reason.”  I started crying.  What a raindrop!!  Although I am nothing, I know God used me in that life.  Was my contribution enough?  No, but God can take my efforts and make them enough.

Several years ago, I came across a prayer for parents that I believe was written by Dr. James Dobson.  I do not remember where I found this prayer, but it applies to all relationships and has blessed me so much.  The part that has stuck with me asks the Lord to repeat the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes.  Matthew 14:19-20 says,  And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.  And they did all eat, and were filled:  and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.  Just like Jesus took the meager offering and made it more than enough for the hungry, He can take my meager efforts in my relationships and make them more than enough.  I pray that He will do this.  I pray that He will take my meager efforts to be light and salt and make them more than enough.  He can do this. 

So when satan comes at me with feelings of guilt, I can boldly say that I have been forgiven for my shortcomings and blatant disobediences and that my God is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! 

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