I may have mentioned that I pray scriptures for my children (including my son-in-law) from Jodie Berndt's Praying the Scriptures for your Children, usually praying one scripture prayer a day, filling in whosoever's name fits the prayer that I come across that day, sometimes even praying for children of friends. Last night I came to a prayer that was particularly pertinent to me, because in the past few days, I have had several "slaps in the face" about my lost loved one. The prayer said, "As we pray for________, do not let us be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let us always remember to present our requests to you. And let your peace, which transcends all understanding, guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)"
My faith has been wavering because of the things I have seen and heard about my lost loved one, and I had to apologize to the LORD, because He has remained faithful, and I can trust Him. Just because my faith wavered does not mean He has stopped working and fulfilling His promises to me. In fact, when I asked Him to please give me a raindrop and to let me know He is still working, He was faithful to even do this: to send this prayer, to show me His creation to remind me of His awesome power, and to send so many songs that have helped me praise and to remember Him, as well as many other reminders.
In fact, this passage of scripture gives us the answer for the anxiety of the wait: prayer with thanksgiving. There is a peace that comes when I pray, presenting all my concerns before the LORD, and thank Him for His work and for listening and answering my prayers.
He is so very faithful, and He has given me a peace that I cannot fathom. In fact, I almost feel guilty to be so much at peace when so much bad is going on. But even that is being handled by God. I cannot be God in my loved one's life. I cannot fix anything. I cannot save that person. I cannot manipulate circumstances for that person. I am not God. I am Tami, but I serve God, and He has this under control!! I am thankful!